First Blood

Well, it wasn’t Paine that drew first blood against House Thanatos; it was the non-PK guild of Free Traders!

Belpheron was quietly going about his business, re-taking some territories. He killed the Medusa and ported into the ‘Control Room’ of the Desert Spire to discover that Zenblade, leader of the peaceful and non-PK guild had one of his Epic Builds, Drago DirgeBlade, in there waiting for him. Well, having spent most of his spells on the Medusa, Belpheron was in trouble. Belpheron still had Epic Warding and Epic Mage Armor on, plus Acid Sheath, so Drago couldn’t hurt him, but he couldn’t hurt her either. It got even more amusing when Zenblade recruited one of his peace keepers, "Gallahard the Brilliant", to come and assist him. Gallahard brought his Sorcerer build “Twardowski” to attempt to kill the dreaded and evil Belpheron. What was downright hilarious is that for some reason, "Twardowski the Super Intellectual" had Drago on ‘Dislike’, and the IGMS that he was trying to use on Belpheron almost killed Drago before he figured it out!

Eventually Twardowski got his dumb ass straightened out and started hitting Belpheron with IGMS. Belpheron, being the level-headed and calm individual that he is, stopped laughing and kindly requested that Twardowski take a seat and rest for a while by casting Extended Bigby’s Forceful Hand on him, smashing him to the ground. Belpheron then informed Twardowski that it was unwise to underestimate his power, and cast Evard’s Black Tentacles on him, just so he wouldn’t get bored.

During this entertaining spectacle, Drago was standing around, pondering what to do. Was it “worth it” to stand around and watch Twardowski get slapped with Tentacles until Belpheron got bored enough to leave? Was the Territory worth it? It was about that time that Belpheron’s Epic Warding and Acid Sheath wore off, and Drago got brave. Boldly striding up to him, she began to chop away furiously, only to realize that Belpheron keeps a few Acid Sheath’s in reserve, and the stalemate was on again.

Finally, the final hour of the conflict had come. Twardowski was able to get off the floor, fully rested and only mildly bruised from the many Black Tentacles that had been mercilessly beating away on him, reminding him vaguely of that weekend in college he doesn’t talk about. Drago, emboldened by the presence of someone who could keep her healed while she beat upon Belpheron’s undead and acid covered flesh, began to hack away furiously. Little did Drago and “Twardowski the Goo Covered” know that Belpheron always has over 1000 healing kits in his inventory at all times. Therefore, it took almost 5 minutes for the two of them to eventually hack Belpheron into tiny, undead and unrepentant bits.

It was at this time that Drago, showing the good sportsmanship we have come to expect from her, used a ‘Raise Dead’ scroll on Belpheron, and it was also at this time that Twardowski, showing himself to be the Cock Juggling Thunder-Cunt I have long suspected him to be, promptly cast another IGMS on him. That’s called “Res-killing”, and it’s a No-No. Check the server rules if you’re curious.

Well, this story has a happy ending! Not like what Twardowski is used to; no, there were no sticky showers needed after what was to come. Unbeknownst to either of Belpheron’s antagonists, Belpheron had an ally who had been chopping through the gate to the Medusa’s area this entire time. When Drago used a second ‘Raise Dead’ scroll on Belpheron, he went and opened the door to the room, letting in ‘Borg Master’, a Singing, Slashing, Disarming whirlwind of Dev Crit Death! Utilizing his unique “Anti-Spell capabilities”, Borg quickly knocked Twardowski to his knees and began to bludgeon him with a great sword. It did not take long before Twardowski “shuffled off his mortal coil and joined the choir invisible”. And what did Drago do during this critical moment? What did the leader of the guild do? That’s right folks, you guessed it, he logged off, leaving is guild-mate to die and logged on with a different build.

So, Belpheron was able to claim the territory after all. He then celebrated by hunting down Zenblade and Gallahard and reminding them that while Crime doesn’t pay, messing with House Thanatos will get your ass kicked.