The Missing Woodsman

Nobody really knows for sure who the woodsman was that Bruce ate, but he sure had a Great Axe.

Jim's article about Bruce and the Dark Ritual made realize that it (the Axe) just wasn't up to the UBERNESS (is that even a word?) that the Realm has progressed into. The next module update will reflect a nicer Axe worthy of the efforts.

The story behind the Anchiant Caverns is that the Trogs are searching for something. Probably something evil and powerful. They found a small chamber and sealed off to protect themselves from the monsters in it.

Being a good Bard with lots of lore, I read the sign warning us to stay out. Like the greedy fools my party members were, they went in anyway and got bombarded by IGMs. About this time the floor collapsed from under our feet and we fell so far into the ground we couldn't see up. I was glad to be alive and not hurt to badly in all that.

We wandered around for quite some time without a clue as how to get out, or if there was even an exit. The monsters weren't so bad at first. A slime thing was hard to kill and wiped our attributes down to nothing. Was glad we had a Cleric in the party to restore our attributes.

The Dracolich wasn't so tough and some sort of a giant two head skeleton got smashed into dust.

Then we stumbled on a magic door that ported us all in separate directions. That's when it got hard. A little tiny rat found me and I tried to step on it. In just a couple of bites i was near dead and ran like all hell. Luckily, Gonads the Dev Master found me and Deved this scurvy rat in one hit.

Callico Bend found a campfire to sit beside and warm up. While she was napping, (lazy is what we call her), the campfire attacked her! LMAO Being a Red Dragon Disciple, the fire couldn't hurt her and she held it at bay until the fire department showed up to save the day.

Still in search of an exit, we stumbled upon a huge Brass Dragon named Bruce. Bruce didn't waste any time attacking us and spit out a Hell-Ball that knocked us all on our butts. Can't say for sure, but I think he knocked himself down too. The battle raged on... and on... Our Mage wasn't much help, Dragons being what they are, most Mage spells bounced right off. While Callico absorbed most of the blows, Gonads kept pounding away. Merculees our Cleric kept us all healed and even walked away once and rested to get more heals. Dark Shadow, the Mage of the group claims that a few of her spells softened up Bruce for us, but I think that's just a story.

Bruce finally fell with a thud that shook all the lands. Callico Bend sliced off his balls and wears them around her neck like a trophy. Now we call her "Brass Balls Bruce". Gonads slit open the belly of the beast and found a powerful Axe. Dark Shadow jumped through a portal without concern for the rest of the party and the portal closed before we could get it together.

Dark Shadow claimed a new Outpost and we were stuck looking for an exit. Fortunately we had already killed most every thing and wandered around until we found an Anchiant Throne. Gonads being the dim-witted sort, sat in it as if he was the new King of BadLands and was then able to leave. We were smart enough to follow him out.