Pulling a "Simon"

Pulling a "Simon":
Phrase: the act of participating in online role-playing video games while extremely inebriated, resulting in erratic, self-deprecating, and potentially suicidal behavior.

Saturday night, I pulled a "Simon". After several beers, followed by a couple strong whiskey and cokes, I logged into the BL to see what was going on. Response time was definitely slowed down (i.e., I should have quit after three failed password attempts), which makes PvP much more interesting. Seeing Grimmy and Shady lurking around the Newport Barracks trying to claim it, I port there with Elric. Not being too familiar with the Barracks, I didn't realize I'd be locked in a room, with Shadowblades only a few feet away. Unable to get to Shady, Elric grows bored (being drunk with a Chaotic evil legendary character usually means trouble), but after several minutes of waiting while Shadowblades plays several rounds of "musical characters" my buffs were low. Unable to rest in the Barracks with enemies nearby, I thought I'd port out, rest/buff, then port back in. But what's this? There's an open portal in the room I'm in. Hmmm... portals are cool, they send you to neat places where you can rest (at least, that's my drunk rationale at the time). So, I step into the portal. The red mist is an instant give away--- the portal sent me to the Maze... in an area where I was trapped and couldn't even suicide! Since there was no DM on at the time, Elric lets out a drunken wail that reverberates throughout the maze. Then he gets the munchies and raids the cheetos and gardettos after logging off.